#63 Almost didn’t make it and questions about being a teaching assistant

Things feel weird, days are long and I am a week away from my (temporary) freedom.

Whatsup, aliens? Had a good day? Thought I wouldn’t make it today and so mark a second failure in the brief history of this posts? Ha! You were wrong!

So what I did today … Library. That’s it. A whole lot of nothing in the morning which includes staring at my laptop’s screen and deciding that no matter how much my life is going to suck and no matter for how long, as fast as I get to the US I will get a macbook; dancing around my room and regreting, a whooole lot of regreting. In the afternoon, lead by example of my supreme leader and lovely friend, I went to the library to pretend to study and stop regreting. Little improvement but we are getting there.

I HAVE NEWZZZZZ!!!!

So basically, you should know what comes but some of my aliens are so oblivious as this resident alien, so I get and so I repeat it now, I AM GOING TO THE STATES SOOON!! I got a TA and so for and so forth but the real newz is that my friends and I decided to make vlogs of it!!!! Aliens you will see your resident alien’s face!!!! Excited? No??? Well, that’s unexpected… Anyway, we are going to try and make it happen, and you will know about it because I will tell you about it. As usual, any comment as long as it is constructive, positive or at least polite, is very welcomed my dears!! We are going to make our first attempt later this month and then start vlogging from then on. Keep in touch to know more!!

Pic not mine. Credit below.

Pic not mine. Credit below.

Also I wanted to say that I plan to make a post about the process of becoming a teaching assistant, from the stage where I am now which basically is not knowing what a TA is, to everything that might be useful so let me know if there are specifics I should address.

And that’s it aliens, night night and dream life!

Mei Mimi: (soon to be) Resident Alien

Credit

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Welcome to me: how to be me by me

This is one of those days were I understand nothing about myself.
I woke up with a sore eye, head-ache and being too hard on myself.
I woke up 6:30 though I could have sweared that I put the alarm at 7 and the number of times that I pressed snooze should have warned me that this was not going to be ok. And since then everything annoys. Me, the most.
I changed my clothes too many times and now, about an hour ago, I still feel unconfortable in my own skin. For fucks sake, I have being internally crying all the way from my bus stop to uni because I kept comparing myself to every girl I saw on the street. I sure know how to beat myself up.

Floure

In the sun – walking by

New section!! Uoooo!!! 😱
So I just thought I should love me more and so here it starts. I shall continue with this section at least until I am in USA. That’s how far my commitment goes for the time being.
Here I will post little things to do to get where I need to be mentally and physically.
Day 1
It all started this day at the early hours of the afternoon when I went for a walk. The idea was to go for a jog but I chikened out because there was too many people in the street watching this fat ass.
However this is more than I have done in all year and I’m proud that out of nowhere I decided to go out and do something. It was not enough but it was something because I cant quite count the different excuses I found this same morning for not having to go out. Usually I would have discarded the matter and carried out feeling guilty but not today.
Tomorrow I have planned another trip where I expect less people so I can finally can look disgusting.
Now, a bit of this:

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M

Floure

In the rain – soaking my clothes

I like to think of the posts I make as in-promptu, as a thing of the moment, but usually I have a clear idea what I want to say, from beginning to end, even if I dont know the how. This is not that kind of post. As soon as I got to the bus station I started writing this.

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Look at the picture. Thats me, my outfit of the day. Anything wrong? Maybe you dont like it? Thats fine, really it is, that not what this post is about. Try hard and give reasons as to why those clothes would be reasons enough so that a piece of garbage follows me in the street to say some nasty things.
It’s 13:48 and I leave uni. I am walking to the bus today courtesy of a proffessor who cannot calculate his time suitably and I leave my classroom with an hour left for the next bus. I cross the bridge that gives access to our uni and stop to pull my thighs up. My pitch black, no see-through thighs, my almost pants thighs. And I continue my way to the station.
I’ve noticed a young guyvqith his bike sitting across where I stopped but thought nothing of it. He was dressed in my city’s football club gear and looks as anyone in this city.
At some point along my way while I am shipping on my juice he comes behind me and says something about my legs and my ass that I am trying to forget as quickly as I can. May I refer to the picture above again please? Well apparently it was temptation enough for a young man to grab his bike and follow me to a close distance and say all the things that should never be said to an unknown person, in the middle of the street, making they feel extremely uncomfortable and as usually happens, having to look away as a means of protection (maybe if i show no interest they will leave). Apparently my outfit was not only worth the persecution but also a turning around in the first corner and passing beside me, this time quietly, again.
I need not say what this is, I need not qualify it. I need this to stop.

Floure