On articles – In the rain, now rains, now doesn’t

I sometimes don’t understand academia. Odd thought, I know, but this is what happens at the end of the semester; existentialism comes and hits hard on your life choices.

The thing is that I just took a break to watch some videos of Conan and write this post but still cannot completely get my mind off the essay, dissertation and exam that take almost every minute of my weekend (grab the booze and join me in my desperation)

Going back to the weird thought that pushed my hands to write, all started with the most ridiculous, speculative, weakly fact-based and questionable deductionism present in an article recently read. Now, I am a literature student (almost graduate) and reading too much into a sentence, discovering covered meanings and all that inventive stuff is kind of customary, but this one was too much. Also, my patience levels are in a low lately, so I am indeed expecting many people to not share my opinion. Whatever.

And then, as my thoughts lingered around the topic more than it would be healthy, it occurred to me that shall the author of the novel that was being dealt with ever to become a zombie, because lets admit it, zombie apocalypse is a thing and is happening, he (he is a male author, therefore no patriarcal intention in any form intended) would be as offended, if anything more personally but that’s almost impossible because I felt the article as an insult to my mother though there was no mention of my mother, by what it was said in the, by now, well known article.

Is it because of his death status, and the delay in the advent of the zombie apocalypse, from here on to be shortened to Z.A., that these scholars, or scholar prospects, feel legimitated to say literally anything? Or is it the vast amount of hours put in the study of the topic? One way or the other, the article was bad and unhelpful, which is the worst insult in the university arena (leaving aside Chinua Achebe calling Joseph Conrad racist, that was bad too).

This post is absolute crap and non-sense.

Be happy. X

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Welcome to me: how to be me by me

This is one of those days were I understand nothing about myself.
I woke up with a sore eye, head-ache and being too hard on myself.
I woke up 6:30 though I could have sweared that I put the alarm at 7 and the number of times that I pressed snooze should have warned me that this was not going to be ok. And since then everything annoys. Me, the most.
I changed my clothes too many times and now, about an hour ago, I still feel unconfortable in my own skin. For fucks sake, I have being internally crying all the way from my bus stop to uni because I kept comparing myself to every girl I saw on the street. I sure know how to beat myself up.

Floure

In the sun – walking by

New section!! Uoooo!!! 😱
So I just thought I should love me more and so here it starts. I shall continue with this section at least until I am in USA. That’s how far my commitment goes for the time being.
Here I will post little things to do to get where I need to be mentally and physically.
Day 1
It all started this day at the early hours of the afternoon when I went for a walk. The idea was to go for a jog but I chikened out because there was too many people in the street watching this fat ass.
However this is more than I have done in all year and I’m proud that out of nowhere I decided to go out and do something. It was not enough but it was something because I cant quite count the different excuses I found this same morning for not having to go out. Usually I would have discarded the matter and carried out feeling guilty but not today.
Tomorrow I have planned another trip where I expect less people so I can finally can look disgusting.
Now, a bit of this:

image

M

Floure